There are many theories as to why children with autism like to line things up or have a tendency to play differently than other children.
I have yet to read anything that resonates with me more than what my own Bella told me on the eve of her 6th birthday, “I am an artist.”
The way she said it had a confessional quality.
I responded, “I know.”
And that was the beginning of some deeper mutual understanding that we were on a unique journey and navigating would be tricky but essential.
Bella was not diagnosed with ASD until she was 13.
“How is that possible?” you might ask.
“Girls tend to get diagnosed later,” Dr. Levy told me.
I knew my daughter was quirky, delayed… but not autistic. My uninformed impressions of what autism was kept me in the dark. She spoke clearly, made eye contact, was social…
“Girls tend to get by,” Dr. Epstein says. “They might not understand what’s going on but they’ll try to just go along and imitate what they see. And they may get away with it to third grade or fifth grade, but once they get to junior high and high school, it shows as a problem.”
Atypical Autism, formerly known as Pervasive Developmental Disorder is Bella’s place on the spectrum. It took a year after receiving the diagnosis for it to really sink in… we are still getting our arms around the implications.
I look back now at old pictures and see that Bella’s way of interacting with toys and other objects were clues to what would eventually become a formal diagnosis.
Mysterious child… leaving her trail of breadcrumbs like Hansel and Gretel so she could always find her way home.