Homelessness and Dirty Laundry

Bella has asked to help end homelessness. She puts so much innocent faith in her mother and herself – and then I think well why not us?

California has a rich and thriving economy, but also has much heated contention and outrage around solutions.

Why or how any person arrives at a low social place is not for me to judge. To myself I say, “But by the grace of God go I,” and leave it there.

Do I have questions or thoughts on the subject? Certainly! Like this one I posted on Nextdoor:

What happens when a homeless person perishes?

There was a woman who spent her days on San Vicente up near 23rd Street or so. She would sit by the water fountain there… gather leaves… and arrange them on the ground. Water the ground. Sometimes I would see her leaving Whole Foods with a bag, but she never seemed to have any food, but sometimes juice bottles. She grew thinner and thinner. My guess is that she succumbed to starvation. Has anyone seen her? Or know what became of her?

I offered to help with money. I offered a sleeping bag on a cold night last winter. But she quite aggressively would not accept help. My neighbor also offered her coffee and was rebuked. Someone told me she had been living in her car but her car was towed and she was left with nothing. I am no clinician, but she seemed to have schizophrenia.

She was pretty. And for a while looked tastefully dressed. I wondered if she had a family. There doesn’t seem to be a good way to help people who are in their own world. For a missing person’s search, you at least need to know their name.

So many of us passed by her every day. And we are not heartless only feckless.

If she had been a dog, we would have stopped our cars, called animal rescue, found an immediate solution. But she was human, and for some reason we just can’t seem to get it together to take care of our fellow humans as well as we care for animals.

I took this picture because her tragedy felt very personal. And I did not want to forget her.

I know that many people are working on fixes for homelessness, but some of the solutions seem to be moving in the wrong direction… like our City’s decision to remove benches from bus stops and change them out for single person seats to prevent people from sleeping on them…

Bella and I have a favorite bench where we like to go to read… it resides on a quiet street near our home with very little traffic. It’s on private property and the delightful owners (who we have met and thanked many times) placed the bench outside their home specifically for people to rest and read. We have spent many pleasant moments in the sunshine of this bench – may my child never need this for her bed.

Raising a child with a neurodiverse brain comes with worries. I have spent many a night pondering her future…

What will it look like? Will she find meaningful ways to support herself? If not, from where will the needed support come?

Parents of children with very special needs put nets in place… but no net is foolproof. No one can predict or prepare for every possible need, every outcome. So we simultaneously pray for the impossible, “Dear God, let me never die.”

If society were kinder, there would be no cause for such pleadings.

So society must grow kinder. I am on a mission to show the way… not only for my own daughter… but for anyone’s child who needs a mother’s protection. (We are all someone’s child.)

Where to begin?

We are starting with care packages. A humble beginning to be sure, but we need to start somewhere.

They will include snacks, water, first aid basics, wipes, toothbrush, toothpaste, socks, flashlights. We are waiting for flip-flops to arrive, because I burst into tears imagining myself approaching a shoeless person with my silly care package – how ridiculous my little offering would be for that person.     

Bella has attended several protests, because I want her to never feel helpless and also know how people organize and what strength in numbers can do. 

The homeless are out there in force – so we propose a twist – organize and arm them (with signs) for those who are willing to make their personal suffering a larger statement.  We need to fix this… our inhumanity towards the least of these is staring us in the face.  At least it is staring in mine. 

So now you know how this Mama spends her time. (Some of it.) Mostly I do laundry and take Bella to a gazillion appointments…

But Bella and I often talk about when we meet God and he asks us, “What did you do with your time on Earth?”  And we both agree that the answer cannot be – laundry.